Broken Bones
by purplepagoda
Summary: We all have a breaking point. What if Temperance reaches it. Will her friends be able to mend her broken bones? Do they have any hope of saving her from her worst nightmare? What if she can't be saved?
1. Chapter 1

She sat there in her living room staring at a shot glass. A very empty shot glass stared back at her. She wasn't much of a drinker. Sometimes she would have wine with dinner, or a couple shots with Booth after a tough case. It usually took her mind off of her problems–at least temporarily–but tonight the pain was still there. It just kept building... and building. After three shots she sat there feeling everything. She tried her best to feel numb, but tonight she didn't. The three little shots hadn't taken her mind off of anything. One or two shots usually did the trick, but not this night, the three shots hadn't even taken the edge away.  
She returned the shot glass to the kitchen. She threw the empty bottle of alcohol in the trash. The bottle of liquor had been in the back of her refrigerator for as long as she could remember. She would drink a shot here and there, but lately the intervals between them had grown increasingly smaller. Just a few weeks ago the bottle had been more than half full. She was starting not to care anymore. She found her keys, and made her way to the door. She wandered out not bothering to lock the door behind her. She decided not to get in the car afterall. Her boots clicked on the pavement. She stared ahead blankly as small rain droplets fell on her. She hoped that the walk would clear her head, but all it did was trap her in her own misery. It imprisoned her in her own mind. She crossed the street and found her solution. He was a tall, lanky kid. Any other time she would have avoided him at all costs due to his shady appearance but on this night she knew that he was the only one who could help her.

The first couple of days her co-workers hadn't noticed. After a couple of weeks they noticed that something was different about her, but they chalked it up to the loss of Zack. Soon summer was nearly over and they all began to become very concerned about her.

"Bren sweetie are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she answers robotically as she stares through Angela.

"Are you sure?"

"Uh huh," she answers.

"Bren..." she moves her hand in front of Temperance's face.

Temperance shakes her head and closes her eyes. When she reopens them she focuses on Angela.

"What do you want?" she questions irritably.

"I'm just concerned about you,"

"I'm fine," she answers pointedly.

"Are you sure? Because you don't look fine,"

"That isn't really your call,"

"Bren you look like a zombie. Is something going on?"

"It's not any of your business," she answers.

"Fine," Angela huffs and walks out of her office. She bumps into Cam on her way out.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you," Angela warns.

"Why not?"

"She's in a nasty mood,"

"Again?"

"Yeah. I'm really worried about her. I think that something's wrong,"

"I don't know if something is wrong, but something is definitely off,"

"So you've noticed too?"

"Uh huh. She is rude, and unfocused. She's having trouble doing her job, which I'm pretty confident in saying, any other time she could do her job in her sleep,"

"I know. Maybe Booth knows what's wrong with her,"

"I'll talk to him,"

"Where is he?"

"He went to lunch,"

"And she didn't go with him?"

"She said she wasn't hungry,"

"Are you sure?"

"I was standing next to her when she told him that,"

"That's odd,"

"I know,"

"Do you think this thing with Zack has her this upset?"

"I don't know..."

"You're thinking something what is it?"

"Nothing,"

"Cam please tell me,"

"I'll tell you when I have some evidence,"

"How will you get it?"

"I just need a little bit of time,"

"Ok," Angela agrees.

The next day Booth waits anxiously on Bones to arrive. After over an hour of waiting for her in her office he storms out. He tries to call her on her cell phone but gets no answer. Scared that something may have happened to her he drives over to her apartment. He beats on her apartment door.

"Bones. Open up!" he screams.

A man walks by. He stops to talk to Seeley.

"Are you looking for Dr. Brennan?"

"Yeah do you know if she's home?"

"I saw her come in late last night,"

"Who are you?"

"I'm the super,"

"Great do you have a key to her apartment?"

"I can't just open the door for anyone,"

"I'm with the F.B.I. and if you don't open the door I'll bust it down,"

"Fine," the older gentleman agrees.

He carefully unlocks the door and allows Seeley into the apartment. He continues down the hall as Seeley enters the apartment. Seeley calls out, "Bones." He gets no response. He carefully walks towards her room. He pushes open the door which is already ajar. He finds her laying in her bed on top of the covers in the clothes she had been wearing the day before. "Bones," he shakes her violently. Finally she rolls over and opens her eyes. He finds blood crusted on her face.

"What happened?" he questions.

"What the hell are you doing in my apartment?" she asks.

"I've been waiting on you. Bones it's after noon. What happened to you? There is blood everywhere,"

She rubs her eyes, and then looks at her pillow.

"I must have had a nosebleed,"

"Go get cleaned up. Take a quick shower, and wash your face. You need to hurry up. You're already on thin ice with Cam," he tells her.

She reluctantly gets up and pulls clothes out of the closet. She pulls undergarments out of her drawer and heads for the bathroom. The warm shower wakes her up. She's in and out of the bathroom in ten minutes. She pulls her wet hair into a bun.

"Come on. Let's go we have a case," he tells her.

"Don't be so pushy,"

"You're really trying my patience here. What the hell is wrong with you? You've been acting crazy lately,"

"I'm just going through some stuff," she admits.

"Yeah well, get through it because you have work to do," he says uncompassionately.

The following day when Temperance arrives at work she finds Sweets waiting on her.

"Why are you in my office?" she questions defensively.

"I see that you're on time this morning,"

"Can you please leave me alone? I don't feel like dealing with you today," she says very bluntly.

"Dr. Brennan I'd just like to ask you some questions,"

"Why?"

"Your friends are concerned about you. Agent Booth asked me to talk to you,"

"About what? I don't have anything to say,"

"Have you been having a lot of nosebleeds lately?"

"I don't know why?"

"I'm just curious,"

"I'm not sure that it's any of your business," she admits.

Meanwhile in the lab Angela, Cam, Jack, and Seeley wait for Sweets to come and tell him his expert opinion.

"What is up with her lately?" Angela asks.

"I don't know," Cam answers.

"Booth?"

"How would I know. She doesn't talk to me,"

"You're her partner haven't you notices anything different about her lately?"

"She doesn't seem to have as much of an appetite, and she's always either really tired, or hyper,"

Cam just stares at Jack.

"What are you two doing? Don't do that. Don't send each other messages or whatever it is you're doing," Seeley tells them.

"Yeah what are those looks about?" Angela questions suspiciously.

"We were just looking at each other because we really need coffee. Right Hodgins?"

"Yeah," he agrees.

"Right," Seeley scoffs.

"Like we're going to buy that," Angela adds.

"Why wouldn't you?"

"It would be like us buying that everything is ok with Bones," Seeley answers Cam.

"Are you going to fire her over whatever it is that's going on?" Angela asks Cam.

"Not if she can correct it. But I'm also not going to cover for her," she admits.

"No one's asking you to Camille," Seeley tells her.

"It better stay that way," she shoots back.

"We wouldn't ask you to put your neck out for her...,"

"You would, and I would do it most other times, but if what I think is going on is I won't do it. I'll do everything in my power to save her job,"

"And if you can't?"

"Then I can't,"

"Anthropologists don't just grow on trees," Hodgins reminds her.

"I know, finding a replacement will be hell but I'll do it if I have to,"

"What do you think is going on with her?" Angela wonders aloud.

"I'll tell you after I talk with Sweets,"

"Ok," they agree.


	2. Chapter 2

When Sweets steps out of Dr. Brennan's office Cam whisks him away. She takes him to her office. After they have a discussion Cam knows what she must do. When Temperance goes to lunch she pulls everyone else aside, even Booth.

"So what did Sweets say?" Booth wonders anxiously.

"He agreed with me,"

"About what exactly?" Angela questions.

Jack looks at Cam. She nods, and he turns to Angela, "She's on something," he answers gently.

"What? What are you talking about?" Angela questions.

"We think that she's on drugs," Cam clarifies.

"Not Bones," Seeley scowls.

"Yeah,"

"She's not on drugs," Angela disagrees.

"We have a strong inkling that she is," Cam argues.

"No. You're wrong. She's not on drugs. She would never do drugs. You guys are the ones on drugs, you've lost your minds,"

Angela's body threatens to leave. As she steps for the door Jack grabs her arm and spins her around.

"Just hear her out," Jack pleads.

"Fine," she crosses her arms defensively.

"How do we prove it?" Seeley asks.

"We make her take a drug test,"

"Cam you can't do that. If you prove that she is then you have to report her results,"

"I'm not going to have anything to do with it. You're all going to take care of it,"

"How?" he questions.

"We need her to think that everyone in the Jeffersonian is getting random drug tests,"

"Ok. So we just play along?" Jack clarifies.

"Yes, except I need you to do a little bit more Angela,"

"Why me?"

"She trusts you the most," Seeley answers.

"What can I do?"

"You have to test her pee,"

"What?"

"You've also got her to pee in the cup,"

"How?"

"You'll figure it out,"

"How do I test the pee without going through you?"

"They make home drug testing kits. We'll get one. Once you get her pee you just fill a dropper full with it. Then you put a few drops onto the test,"

"I can't do that here. If I do that here then someone will find out,"

"We'll do it right before lunch. Go home, or to the diner, go wherever and test it,"

"You want me to transport pee in my car?"

"It's going to be in a sterile container,"

"I don't like this one bit,"

"Angela if we do this officially she's going to get fired," Cam gives her the reality of the situation.

"And if the test is positive?"

"We force her to go on vacation,"

"How will that help?"

"Ange by vacation she means rehab," Jack clarifies.

"How do we get her to do that?"

"We'll have to figure it out,"

"I just don't understand how this could have happened," Angela admits.

They all remain silent. They look around but no one says a word.

The following day Angela makes her move. Just before lunch she approaches Brennan. Actually she corners Temperance in her office.

"Hey can you come with me for a minute?" she asks trying to conceal the cup for pee.

"I guess," Temperance answers nearly contemptuously.

Angela leads her into the bathroom.

"Why are we in the bathroom?" Temperance questions.

The pee cup materializes.

"You've got to pee in this,"

"What? Why?"

"The Jeffersonian is conducting random drug tests,"

"Why are you administering mine?"

"I've already been cleared. They put me in charge of you, Cam, and Jack,"

"Do you have to watch me pee?"

"I can wait outside the stall,"

"Can we do it tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"I can't pass a drug test today,"

"Why not?"

"I had a few too many drinks last night," she lies.

"Oh well they aren't testing for alcohol, just drugs,"

"I don't understand why they're doing this all of a sudden. I think that everyone knows we're all clean,"

"You think?"

"Of course,"

"Bren,"

"What?"

"I need you to pee in this cup,"

"Is this some sort of prank?"

"No,"

"You're being serious?"

"Yes,"

"What happens if I refuse to take it?"

"They assume that you are hiding something, and they fire you,"

"Isn't that against the law or something?"

"Nope. When you get hired here you sign a contract that you will consent to random drug testing,"

"I don't remember reading that,"

"It's there. It's in every contract,"

"Oh," Temperance's eyes fall to the floor.

"Are you ready?" Angela asks.

"Do I really have to take this?"

"Yeah," Angela answers.

"Why?"

"If you want to keep your job you've to take it,"

"You should pee in it,"

"Why? I already took a drug test,"

"You're as clean as I am,"

"Just pee in the cup,"

"What happens if I fail?"

"Do you have a reason to worry about failing?"

"No I'm just wondering,"

"I guess you'll probably be give a chance to clean up your act, or you might be fired on the spot,"

Temperance sighs as Angela hands her the cup.

"What if I was on my period?" She asks as she enters the bathroom stall.

"It doesn't affect the results,"

"Oh," Temperance sighs.

Fifteen minutes later Angela is sitting in the bathroom of the Royal Diner. She locks the door behind her, and sits the test, a pipette, and the cup of pee on the counter of the bathroom. She pulls on a pair of latex gloves. She opens the box and pulls out the test. She lays it flat on the counter and then and carefully unscrews the lid of the cup. She plunges the pipette into the cup of liquid. She squeezes the bulb of the pipette until it's full of pee. She removes the pipette, and holds it carefully as she screws the lid back on the cup. Once the lid is secured she moves the test in front of her. She squeezes the pipette until a few drops of pee end up on the test. As she stares at the test she realizes that it looks nothing like she expected it to. She had expected it to look like a pregnancy test, but it didn't at all. She allows drops to fill four more divots on the test. Once she's filled all the divots the pipette is empty. She lays it next to the cup of urine, and carefully reads the back of the box. She stares at her watch. After several minutes she wills herself to look down at the test. She is extremely disappointed when she finds that one of the sections indicates a positive results. She curses to herself, and then unlocks the room. She sticks her head out the door.

"Booth," she calls out.

He takes a sip of coffee and gets up from his chair. He comes towards her. He stops at the door.

"Well?"

"Come in here," she tells him.

"I'm not going to come into the women's bathroom with a woman. People will..."

"This is bigger than what people are going to think about us being in the bathroom together,"

"Ok," he agrees.

He slips into the bathroom behind her. He locks the door and turns to her. She says nothing she just points at the counter. He moves over to the counter and stares at the test.

"So what does it mean?"

"She tested positive," Angela admits.

"I don't understand,"

"Understand what?"

"Why she would risk everything just to get high. It just isn't like her,"

"I think that's a question you'd have to ask her yourself,"

"And what if she doesn't want to answer?"

"I'm sure that she won't,"

"What do I do? How do I fix this?"

"I don't know if you can Booth,"

He bangs his fist on the counter of the bathroom as his jaw visibly clenches.


	3. Chapter 3

"So where do we start?" Angela asks him.

"Split up. Go through everything. If you find anything flush it,"

"Are you sure that this is ok?"

"Cam I don't really care if it's ok. Just get it done," Seeley fumes.

"She's going to be furious when she finds us,"

"I don't really give a damn," he answers.

"Seeley you know that isn't true," Cam tries to talk him down.

"I just... please help me," he asks the three of them.

"How long do you think we have before she gets done?" Hodgins asks.

"I don't know. She said that she had to finish some paperwork. Which at this point I don't even know if it's true," he rants.

"Calm down Booth. If there is anything we'll find it,"

"I know," he sighs in relief.

"So let's get started," Cam suggests.

"Angela can you go into her room?"

"Yeah sure where are you going to go?"

"Her room,"

"Do we both need to be in there?"

"I need you to pack her a bag," he tells her.

"Oh," she sighs and allows her eyes to fall to the floor.

They split up and start their search for illegal substances.

As Angela carefully goes through Temperance's closet Booth tears through her drawers.

"Make sure you check all her pockets," he tells her.

"I feel like someone's mother,"

"Yeah well we shouldn't have to be doing this. This never should have gotten this far,"

"Booth I know that tone,"

"What tone?"

"The one that you use when you start to doubt your beliefs, and blame yourself,"

"I just... there has to be something I could have done,"

"How? None of us knew,"

"No none of us wanted to see it. If it had been anything else we would have already confronted them about it,"

"I just don't want to believe this. Of all people she's just not the one I would ever expect to fall into this,"

"I know Ange,"

She stops throwing clothing into a suitcase. He looks at her intensely.

"What?" he asks.

She holds up a bag and takes a deep breath. "I don't know if I can be here for this. I can't..."

"I'll take it," he reaches out.

"The drugs don't bother me. It's the fact that she has them,"

"I know," he nods understandingly. He takes the bag and lays it on the top of the dresser.

He pulls open the bottom drawer and rifles through it. He encounters another bag. He puts it on the top of the dresser. Angela moves to the dresser to gather clothes, and Seeley moves to the bedside stand. He pulls opens the drawer and finds a gun staring up at him. He lays it on the bed, and continues hunting in the drawer. He finds nothing, and returns the contents to the drawer. He drops to the floor and lifts the dust ruffle of the bed. He looks under the bed and finds nothing.

"Make sure you check under the mattress too," Angela tells him.

He lifts up the mattress and finds yet another bag. Ten minutes later they finish the bedroom and flush the bags down the toilet. They begin to search the bathroom. He looks through the medicine cabinet and finds nothing.

"Got anything?" he asks her as she checks the clocks, and inside the toilet.

"Huh uh. You?"

"Just a bottle of ibuprofen," he drops the bottle on the floor.

She looks at him peculiarly.

"What?" he acknowledges the glance.

"You didn't hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"When a bottle falls there should be a noise,"

"There was,"

"No you should be able to hear the pills clink around inside,"

"What are you thinking?" he questions.

She bends down and picks up the bottle. She pops open the cap and pulls out another bag.

"Oh," he sighs as she moves to the toilet.

"Did you check the trash can in her bedroom?"

"For what?"

"I don't know,"

"No I didn't but I can,"

"Ok,"

As he heads for the door he hears the toilet flush. He leaves the room and checks the trash can. When he returns he finds her sitting on the lid of the toilet with her head in her hands.

"You ok?"

"No. I'm not ok. How did this happen to her?"

"I don't know,"

"Did you find anything in the trash can?"

"Some gum wrappers, a water bottle, and some tissues,"

"So nothing of interest,"

"Not really,"

"Should we go see how they're doing?"

"Yeah," he agrees.

They find their way back to the living room.

"Did you guys find anything?" Booth questions.

"We found two bags,"

"Have you gone through every drawer, every hole..."

"We're working on it. We've still got to do the bookshelf," Hodgins answers him.

"That's going to take forever," Angela points out.

"I'm going to call and see if she's left work yet," he announces his next course of action.

He dials her and lets it ring. He gets her voice mail.

"Well?" Angela asks impatiently.

"She isn't answering,"

"She could have her phone off, or she could have forgotten to charge it," Cam makes excuses.

"Or she could avoiding us," Angela adds.

"So what do we do now?" Hodgins questions.

"Be thorough. Check every space that is big enough to hide something," he answers.

"All of us?" Cam rolls her eyes.

"What else are we going to do? It'll make the waiting go by a lot faster," Angela huffs.

An hour later they're sitting in Temperance's living room waiting on her to arrive.

"I'm getting kind of worried," Angela admits.

"I'll call and see if she's left yet," Cam tells them nervously. She tries to mask the fact that her gut is screaming that something is wrong. She tries her best to ignore the feeling in the pit of her stomach too.

She steps away from them. Less than a minute later she returns to them.

"So?"

"The head of security said that she left forty five minutes ago,"

Their faces fall. The breath being sucked from Angela's body is visible. Seeley goes ghostly white, and Hodgins holds Angela's hand.

The ring of Seeley's phone nearly brings the group to tears.

"That's probably her now," Cam hopes.

"Yeah I'm sure that it is," Angela agrees.

Seeley opens the phone and answers completely ignoring the caller i.d.

"Booth," he answers.

"Are you agent Seeley Booth?"

"Yes," he answers a male voice on the other end.

"Do you know a Dr. Brennan?"

"Yes why?"

"There's been an accident,"

"What happened?"

"As far as we can tell she fell asleep at the wheel. She ran off the side of the road, through a guardrail into a tree,"

"Is she ok?"

"They just took her to the hospital,"

"Ok. Thank you," he hangs up.

They can tell by the look on his face that it isn't good news.

"What's wrong?" Angela is the first find the balls to ask.

"There's been an accident. She wrecked. They took her to the hospital," he says with no emotion.

Cam reaches for his hand.

"Come on I'll drive," she insists.

He nods and gives her his keys. They leave the apartment, and get to his car as quickly as possibly. The doors are barely closed as the car lurches forward. As Seeley turns the siren on from the passenger's seat Angela and Hodgins scramble to buckle their seatbelts.

Seeley calls to inquire what hospital they've taken Temperance to as they pull out of the parking lot.


	4. Chapter 4

Cam lets the gang out at the emergency room doors, and goes to park the cars. Seeley frantically racks his brain about what to do. Angela does her best to remain composed. She walks up to the desk and stares down the receptionist as she registers a patient.

"Excuse me ma'am can you help me out?"

"I'm trying to register a patient. Can you please wait?"

"No. I can't wait. They just brought my friend in,"

"Ma'am you'll have to wait,"

Angela rolls her eyes and huffs as she walks away. She grabs Booth by the arm. Hodgins stays behind to wait on Cam. Angela pulls him through a set of double doors.

"Where is she?" he asks.

"I don't know the stupid receptionist was being stupid," she fumes.

"Ange..."

She stands in the middle of the room and looks around. She sees a woman with a shrieking infant, an old woman and her husband, then she sees a closes curtain. Underneath the curtain she sees dozens of legs. She pulls him forward. She moves to the curtain. He stops steps away. She pulls it back. A nurse from the other side of the bed scolds her.

"Ma'am you can't be in here. This patient is in critical condition,"

With tears in her eyes she answers, "Is this the accident victim?"

"Ma'am I can't disclose that information to you,"

"I need to know. She's my best friend," she cries keeping her eyes from looking at the bed.

"Ma'am you need to wait in the waiting room,"

"But she's my best friend,"

"Then you've got to understand. We need space to work. Let us do our jobs,"

Seeley pulls Angela away. He leads her back into the waiting room. By the time they reach Cam and Jack Angela is in hysterics. Jack stands up to embrace her. She pushes him away.

"Angela..."

"I can't do this," she admits and walks away from them.

"Where are you going?" Hodgins asks.

She doesn't answer him.

Cam follows her down the hall and outside into the warm night air. She reaches a bench and sits down. Cam sits down next to her. She says nothing she waits for Angela to start the conversation.

"She's my best friend I should have known. I should have paid more attention,"

"Angela this is not your fault,"

"I feel like it is,"

"It's not,"

"What if..."

Cam quickly stops her in her tracks, "I know that this really upsets you. I understand but Booth needs you. He needs someone to be there for him. The two of you understand Dr. Brennan better than any of the rest of us could ever hope to,"

She nods. They return to the waiting room. Cam returns to her seat next to Hodgins. Seeley paces in front of them. He feels relief when Angela wraps his arms around her.

They wait for another forty five minutes. Finally the nurse from earlier comes into the waiting room. She's covered in blood.

"Who are you looking for?" she asks Angela.

"Temperance Brennan. She was in a car accident," Angela replies.

"Who are you?"

"I'm her best friend,"

"I'm sorry I can't tell you anything if you aren't family,"

Seeley stands up. "I'm her partner," he says.

"She's finally stable. We took her to the intensive care unit on the second floor. You can go see her if you like, but I have to warn you. She's pretty beaten up,"

"Ok," he nods.

Nothing... not even a perfect simulation in the Angelator could have prepared him for what he was about to see. He finds his way to the second floor. He fights with his emotions as he makes his way to the I.C.U. He pushes through the door. He stops at the desk and asks where she is. A quiet, and kind nurse tells him. He takes a left, and breathes heavily as he makes his way down the corridor. He stops at the room that she's in. He pushes open a partially open door. He battles with his own demons as he steps toward her bed. He nearly throws up when he sees her. He sits down in a chair next to her bed. She lays in the bed with tubes coming from every possible place. Her chest rises and falls mechanically. Her face is swollen, red, and bruised with lacerations up one side and down the other. He stops at her face not being able to will himself to look at the rest of her. He finds her hand. He holds it carefully not wanting to hurt her.

"What have you gotten yourself into Bones? Can you even hear me? I can't believe that you got yourself into this. Why didn't you come to one of us. We would have helped you,"

There is no response.

"Bones come on you have to fight. You can't die. You can't leave me. Whatever was going on I'll get you through it just don't die. You can't die Temperance. I need you. I need you Temperance. I can't live without you. I understand why you were so upset about me not telling you that I was alive. I'm sorry. Please just don't leave me Temperance," he begs.

Once again the only sound in the room is of machines.  
"Please wake up," he begs.

The only movement from Temperance is the movement of her chest.  
"I don't know what made you do this, but I wish that you would wake up so you could talk to me. Please just wake up Bones,"

He waits for her to screech at him for calling her Bones. He elicits no response.  
"I love you Bones," he tells her as he kisses her hand.

He sits there quietly for a while. About ten minutes later a doctor comes in.  
"Are you family?" he questions.

"I'm Seeley Booth I'm her partner,"

"Did you say Booth?"

"Yeah,"

"You're listed as her emergency contact,"

"Oh,"

"She left you in charge of making decisions for her,"

"Oh,"

"Is there anything that you'd like to know?"

"Is she going to wake up?"

"She's got some serious head trauma,"

"Just give it to me straight doc,"

"There is a possibility that she may never wake up. If she does she may have very serious brain damage,"

"How serious?"

"We'll know more after we do an MRI,"

"Did you do a tox screen?"

"No we can't at this point,"

"Why not?"

"She lost too much blood for us to take anymore. We had to give her a transfusion downstairs,"

"How many broken bones?"

"Several. Her legs are both broken, they were pinned under the steering column. She may have to have surgery later to put pins in them. She has a hairline fracture of the skull. One of her ribs punctured her lung,"

"If she wakes up she's going to be in a lot of pain isn't she?"

"Yes why?"

"I was just wondering,"

"Anything else?"

"How long can I stay in here?"

"Visiting hours are over, but we allow one person to stay in the room with the patient as long as you don't fall asleep,"

"Ok. Thank you doctor,"

The grey headed man shakes Seeley's hand and leaves the room. Seeley sits in the chair very quietly. He tries to understand, but for the life of him can't figure out her decisions. He eventually dozes off.

When he wakes there is a swarm of medical staff in the room. A nurse asks him to move out of the way.

He answers her rather groggily with a question, "What's going on?"

"She's having a seizure. I need you to stay out of the way,"

He nods and takes several steps back. Several minutes later the chaos has died down. There is now only one nurse in the room. She hovers over Temperance and checks everything.

"Do you know what caused her to have seizure?" he asks her as she writes on her chart.

"We're not sure at this point,"

"Do you have any ideas?"

"It could be a number of things,"

He nods guessing what had caused her to have the seizure.

"Do you think that you know what caused her to have a seizure?" she questions.

"Um... I'm not sure,"

"You realize that we'll find out no matter what,"

"I don't really know for sure. I was just wondering if it could be caused by withdrawal,"

"The episode is congruent with that caused by withdrawal, but it could be a number of other things. Do you have a reason to suspect that it was from withdrawal to something?"

"Uh... I..."

"If you don't want to discuss it that's fine,"

"Thank you," he tells her.

"I'm just doing my job," she smiles.

She leaves the room and leaves him alone with Temperance once again.

"Bones would you please just wake up? This is getting ridiculous," he orders her in fury.

There is once again no response from the seemingly lifeless Temperance.

"Bones why the hell did you have to do this? Why couldn't you have just talked it out? I mean I know that you hate psychology but I think there is some credence in it. I wish that you'd just let me in. I need you to wake up. I can't do this without you, and I don't just mean solve crimes. Please Bones wake up. We need to talk. I need you... even if you aren't yourself," he admits.

He leans back in his chair knowing that he would elicit no response. He squeezes her hand, "Bones are you in there? Could you just give me a sign?"

He expects nothing in return but her hand jerks in his. "I'm sure that you would explain that as an involuntary muscle spasm, but I'm going to have to disagree. I guess it's just faith," he answers himself as he holds her hand.

Amidst the chaos of the time in the room with her he had found the time to call Angela and tell them what was going on. He had told them all to go home. He could only hope that they had. He wasn't going to leave the room to find out though.

He had made her a promise which he fully intended upon keeping–he would not leave her–even if the entire world came crashing down around them he would never leave her. It was his fault that she was lying there in that hospital bed. He had put her there. This is what had happened because he betrayed her. She trusted him and he betrayed her. He knew that even if he didn't want to admit it. Finally he realized how that betrayal–how him leaving her–had changed her. How something that small had made her into someone that she was not. There was only one person to blame, and that was him. Or at least that was the truth according to him–as he saw it. She wasn't awake she couldn't tell him not to jump to conclusions, so he hopped on the first train from the station, and rode it out.


	5. Chapter 5

The clock reads 7:45 when his phone begins to ring. He pulls it out of his pocket, and pulls it to his ear in one swift move.

"Booth," he answers in reflex.

"Hey it's me," a voice on the other end tells him.

"Hey," he yawns.

"I didn't wake you up did I?"

"No Ange what's up?"

"I've been up for an hour. I tried to wait longer to call, but I couldn't. I was just wondering how she's doing,"

"There's been no change,"

"Do you want me to come sit with her so you can run home and shower?"

"No. Go to work Ange. It's what she would want you to do,"

"It's not what I want,"

"Please Angela just go to work,"

"Ok," she agrees unhappily.

"Thank you,"

"Can I at least bring you something? A change of clothes, coffee, or some breakfast? Something? Anything?"

"No Angela I'm fine. Just go to work,"

"I don't know how well I can work with her in the hospital," she admits.

"Just do your best. That's what she would want,"

"If she wakes up..."

"You'll be my first call,"

"Ok. Bye Booth,"

"Bye Angela," he hangs up.

He returns the phone to his pocket. He stares past Temperance out the window. He finds a grey sky and clouds staring back at him.

He feels eyes burning through his soul. Before he can shift his glance there is a hand wrapped around his forearm. He looks at Temperance and finds her staring at him in panic.

"Bones listen. Stay calm. I know that you're scared. Don't be. You have a breathing tube in right now..."

She starts to choke. He pushes the call button.

"Hey... hey just stay calm," he tells her.

A nurse comes in.

"She's awake," he informs her.

"Ok. I'll go get the doctor to take the breathing tube out," she answers.

Moments later the short brunette nurse returns with a doctor. They remove the breathing tube, and put Temperance on oxygen. She coughs violently for moments after they leave the room.

"Do you want a drink of water?" he questions.

She tries to talk, but no sounds come out. The coughing stops, and the shock begins to set in.

"Don't try to talk,"

She gives him a look of protest. She opens her mouth to speak, but once again no words come out. A rasp, a wheeze and a cough escape, but no words follow.

"Don't try to talk. One of your ribs punctured your rib,"

Finally words escape her lips. The words were not ones that he had expected to hear. "I hate you," she declares weakly but resolutely. He doesn't believe her, but the words cut through his soul all the same.

"Well hello to you too," he replies.

"I want..." she stops for more air, talking proves to be more taxing than she had anticipated, "please leave," she finishes.

"No. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave this room. I see what happens when I leave you to your own devices,"

"Booth..." she begins to protest but he cuts her short.

"No. You don't get to talk. You aren't allowed to say anything right now. You could have killed yourself. Do you know how irresponsible you've been? Do you have any idea what you've done to yourself, and the people who love you? Temperance I just don't get it. What the hell would make you think that it's ok to turn to drugs. I never thought in a million years that I would have to have this conversation with you, but obviously I've underestimated some part of you. What would make you do this? Are you losing your mind? I feel like I don't even know you. You're not the Temperance Brennan I know anymore," he tells her choking back the tears, staying strong for the both of them.

"Go," she demands.

"No. I won't go anywhere until you're done with whatever this is. I won't leave until you tell me what's going on. Do you even know why you're here?"

She looks around and quickly comes to the realization that she has no clue why she's there, or how she got there for that matter. She looks at him with a furrowed brow and answers, "No," solemnly.

"You crashed your car. You could have killed yourself, or someone else. The Temperance I know she values every life including her own. Who are you?"

With tears in her eyes she finally is able to admit what had been on her mind for her entire adult life, "I don't know."

"They haven't gotten the results of your tox screen yet, but... I have a feeling that you're going to be in a lot of trouble,"

"I..." she stops.

"Please explain this to me because I don't get it. I can't even pretend to understand,"

"I... I... buckled,"

"You buckled? You mean you were wearing your seat belt?"

"No,"

"You weren't wearing your seat belt?"

"Yes,"

"I don't understand,"

"I buckled..."

"What?"

"Under the pressure," she rasps.

"Of what?"

"Everything," she breaths heavily.

"What?"

She sighs, and gives up on explaining.

"You had a seizure," he tells her changing the subject so that she doesn't have to use her voice.

She says nothing. She stares blankly into his eyes. He stares back and sees nothing. Behind her eyes he sees nothing but emptiness.

"I'm pretty sure that it was from withdrawal,"

She doesn't answer she just looks at the wall with a guilty conscience.

"Are you still in there? Is my Bones still in there? Or did she go away?"

"I...,"

"What made you think that it was ok?"

"I didn't,"

"So what made you do it?"

"I...," she talks slowly in an effort to conserve her voice, "nothing... else... worked,"

"For what?"

"I...,"

"I thought that you just compartmentalized,"

"Me too,"

"But you don't do it as well as you thought,"

"No,"

"I... this isn't going to be pleasant you know," he warns.

She nods slightly in acknowledgment.

"There is no going back now. I won't let you go back," he tells her.

She doesn't say anything.

"Bones... please don't ever do that to me again. I can't do that again. When I heard that police officer tell me that you had been an in accident and that they took you to the hospital my heart dropped. All I could think was that you were dead..."

"Now you know,"

"Know what?"

"Know what it's like..." she takes a labored, deep breath, and continues, "to think your partner's... dead,"

"I'm sorry. I've told you so many times. I am so truely sorry. You were supposed to know. You were at the top of the list,"

She says nothing she just stares at the wall.

"I should probably call Angela,"

"No," she disagrees.

"Why not?"

"No," she reiterates.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes,"

"Ok,"

"I'm sorry," she tells him as she fights back tears.

He says nothing. He refuses to look at her not wanting her to see the look of disappointment on his face. He looks away hoping that his face will change, and that his eyes won't deceive him. Finally he turns back to her, but she's closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry too," he whispers in her ear.


	6. Chapter 6

Later that afternoon he had finally drifted off to sleep. She was stuck in a bed. She wanted so badly to allow her walls to fall. She wanted to allow her words to flood his ears. She needed to be able to tell him everything, but she didn't know how. The injuries from the car accident were nothing compared to the feeling in her heart. She felt like a knife had been driven deep into her heart upon hearing what he had to say. The last thing she ever wanted to was disappoint him. She needed something to fix this, or at the very least something to help her forget about it. She started to itch, not literally of course. She wanted... she needed a fix. She could rip the i.v.'s and the oxygen out but... there he was. He was between her and the door. Between her and what she needed.

As she stares at him she realizes she's not sure what she needs. He somehow senses her eyes upon his face. His eyes flutter open and meet hers.

Of everything she wanted to say what came out surprised her, "I... I don't want to be your partner anymore," but it surprised him even more.

"We'll discuss that later. Right now you just need to get better,"

"I just want to go home,"

"I'm not going to let you go home,"

"Why not?"

"I won't let you kill yourself. Why is this so hard for you? Why can't you just say what's bothering you instead of turning to... to this?"

"You weren't there,"

"What?"

"Nothing," she lies.

"If you don't want to talk right now that's fine, but before you get done you will talk about this. I won't lose you to this,"

"I can't do this,"

"Do what?"

"I don't want to do this,"

"Temperance what do you mean?"

"I don't want to go back,"

"Back to what?"

"The way things were before,"

"What things?"

"My life. Please just let me go,"

"I won't let you go anywhere,"

"Leave," she begs him.

"No,"

"Why not? You don't owe me anything,"

"I'm not leaving you,"

"I don't need you," she lies.

"I don't care. I'm not leaving you,"

She looks away. He says nothing more. He counts the ceiling tiles as he waits on the silence to break. Finally his pocket begins to ring. A feeling of relief washes over him as he flips it over.

"Booth,"

"It's Angela,"

"I thought that you were coming by,"

"I can't,"

"What do you mean?"

"I've been sitting in the parking lot for an hour,"

"Why?"

"I can't bring myself to get out of the car,"

"Why not?"

"I don't want to see her,"

"She's fine,"

"No Seeley you don't understand,"

"You're right I don't,"

"I don't want to say something to her that I'll regret,"

"She just needs your support,"

"I can't give her that,"

"Why not?"

"I'm angry as hell at her. I want to scream at her. And I know that isn't what she needs right now,"

"Maybe it is,"

"She's fragile I don't want to break her,"

"That's already been done,"

"What if this isn't the lowest? What if this isn't her rock bottom?"

"She's got to get there before she can come back up,"

"I..."

"Come up and tell her what you need to. She needs the truth,"

"I know, but..."

"She needs you, she's sick of me,"

"I don't know,"

"Please. I need you,"

"Booth you don't need anyone,"

"I need you right now,"

"Why?"

"Because I need her back," he says as he steps out of the room.

"What do you mean?"

"The woman laying there in that bed, she's not my Bones. I don't know that woman," he admits on the verge of tears.

"Ok," she takes deep breath and agrees.

He hangs up.

It takes all of Angela's strength to make it to the fourth floor of the hospital. Booth waits at the elevator for her. He has to pull her off, and drag her down the hall. He pushes her into the room. He takes a seat in the hall outside of Temperance's room.

"Hi Ange,"

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why did you think that this was ok?"

"I..."

"I'm not done. Do you have any idea what you did? Why are you so damn hard headed? Why couldn't you just talk to someone? I'd think that you know turning to drugs is never an acceptable option. This whole things is so incredibly stupid. You could have killed yourself, not to mention Booth. Did you even think about all of the people that you were hurting by doing this? I don't know what happened to you. It's like all of a sudden you just decided that you didn't care anymore. I can't even begin to tell you how angry I am at you," she rages.

"Aren't you being hypocritical?"

"What?"

"Can you honestly sit there and tell me that you've never done drugs?"

"This isn't about me,"

"How can you be so angry when you've done the same things yourself?"

"No I've never done anything like this. Never, and I never would because I've seen what it can do. It tears people apart from the inside out. It ruins lives. It tears apart families,"

"I don't have a family,"

"Yes you do. I..."

"Just drop it,"

"No I won't. I care about you way too much to give up on you. If I have to handcuff you to that bed I'll do it,"

"Why are you being so harsh?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're open minded,"

"I'm not wreckless. This is wrong,"

"People make mistakes it's part of the human learning process,"

"No..."

"No what?"

"You know what I don't think that I can do this. You don't even see what you've done. You don't even realize that it was wrong. If you don't want to fix this then you won't. I'm not going to sit by and watch you kill yourself,"

"Ange..."

"I don't want to hear your excuses. They're unimportant,"

"I..." she rolls her eyes in attempt to fight off the tears.

"You what?"

"Nothing I did had an ameliorating effect,"

"What?"

"It was too much. I couldn't deal with it all,"

"So you thought that turning to drugs would be a good idea?"

"I was just tired,"

"Tired?"

"Tired of not being able to numb the pain,"

"What?"

"I..."

"That's when you call up one of your friends and you talk to them about what's bothering you,"

"I... couldn't,"

"Why not?"

"I don't know how to,"

"You've got to figure it out. If you don't you'll never fix this,"

"Maybe I don't want to,"

"I don't believe that for a second,"

"Why not?"

"Because I just don't,"

"You don't understand,"

"Understand what exactly?"

"I go home... and it hits me..."

"What hits you?"

"Everything,"

"And?"

"And no one is there,"

"What?"

"There's no one there,"

"I'm always just a phone call away,"

"I'm alone,"

"What?"

"When I get home. I'm all alone..."

"Why does that bother you?"

"It's just me... and everything I feel,"

"That's never bothered you before,"

"It has,"

"You never say anything. We can't always read your mind,"

"I just want to get out of here,"

"Not until you're better,"

"I'm done," Temperance tells her.

"We're not, so you're going to have to stay put,"

"Why?"

"Don't you understand,"

"Understand what?"

"If you walk out of here you will lose everything. You'll lose the people you care about, and you'll lose your job. Cam will turn your ass in and you'll never be able to get a job as an anthropologist again,"

"I don't care," she answers coldly.

"Are you telling me that you would rather go snort some blow for a temporary high, than keep your job, and the people around you?"

Temperance says nothing. Angela shakes her head and walks out.


	7. Chapter 7

Soon enough she drifts back off to sleep. He fights hard to keep it together. When she wakes up he's laying on the edge of the bed, just watching her.

"What are you doing in my bed?"

"I didn't want you to escape."

"Why do you care? Please just stop. Stop... let me go. I don't want to hurt you."

"Too late."

"Booth. I don't want this. I don't want you here. I don't want you seeing me like this. I just want you to leave. Walk out of here and forget I ever existed."

"I could never do that."

"Why not?"

"You mean too much with me."

"I don't believe you. Why are you doing this? You don't owe me anything."

"I owe you everything," he tells her.

"No you don't."

"Before I met you I was really struggling."

"With what?"

"You seem to forget I'm an addict to. I'm addicted to gambling."

"That's nothing."

"It is. Before I met you I was so close to going back to that. Then you came along and you reminded me about how much I love my job. How much I love putting people in jail for taking someone else's life. If it weren't for you I wouldn't have anything. I wouldn't be allowed to see my son and I probably wouldn't have a job either. I owe you a lot."

"No you don't."

"I do."

"Your debt has been paid you took a bullet in the heart for me. You're released. Please leave," she begs him.

"No. I won't leave you. I made the mistake of leaving you once. I'm never leaving you again."

"Really?"

"Really," he tells her.

"I hate you," she tells him.

"Why?" he asks calmly.

"I hate you," she repeats.

"No you don't. I know you. I know the truth."

"What's that?"

"You don't deal with your emotions. That's what got you into this mess. You're too calm. You never just tell people what you think, or how you feel, about them."

"I don't like getting hurt."

"You're not hurt? Right now laying in a hospital bed that you put yourself in you aren't hurt?"

"I don't need a lecture."

"Temperance you could have killed yourself. You could have killed someone else. What would you have done if you had killed someone else?"

"Don't you think that I know that?"

"I don't know. I don't really know what you think anymore. You obviously now think that it's ok to resort to snorting cocaine to make your problems disappear. It's not ok, and it doesn't make your problems disappear. It's temporary."

"So is everything else in my life."

"It wouldn't be if you quit making it that way."

"I don't know what that means."

"You push everyone, you care about, away. When someone gets too close you end your relationship with them. And it works most of the time, but sometimes it doesn't."

"I don't want to do this anymore. I'm miserable. I hate my job, I hate my life I hate...everything."

"But be honest you mostly hate yourself. You're never good enough for your own standards. You're defective... by your own standards. Maybe if you'd get out of your own head for a minute you'd see how people really see you. You'd see that no one thinks those things but you."

"Just stop. I can't handle this."

"Me neither. I can't handle you doing this to yourself."

"Why do you care?"

"Don't you know by now?"

"Know what exactly?"

"I care about you more than you'll ever know."

"I'm your partner..."

"Not as my partner," he answers.

"I don't know what that means."

Angela comes into the doorway, "It means that he's madly in love with you, and that the both of you were too blind to see it, until he got shot. So you went off the deep end."

"No that isn't what it means is it?" Temperance questions.

"Yes that's what it means," Seeley tells her.

"And so now you've royally screwed up. We understand if you don't want to help yourself, but we'll be here when you're ready for us to help you," Angela informs her.

"I don't want to do this. Can you both just leave? I don't need help. I don't want help..."

"We're not going to leave you here alone."

"Why would you stay? I've don't deserve to have people in my life like th two of you. I don't deserve you."

"Sweetie why would you say that?"

"I've done so many terrible things in my life."

"We don't care. Sweetie we care nothing about your past. We just want you to have a future."

"Why?"

"Because we love you."

"I can't see why."

There is a knock on the door. They look up and see Sweets standing in the doorway.

"Why don't the two of you take a break? You're suffocating her. I'll watch her."

"Ok," they agree.

Sweets sits down in a bed next to Temperance. "How are you Dr. Brennan?"

"I'd be better if they'd let me go home."

"What happened?"

"What?"

"What made you decide that exchanging your pain for some cocaine would be a good idea?"

"No matter how much I drank I could never get them off my mind. I could never forget. I could never get rid of the pain, so I started searching for something else."

"The best way to deal with your pain is to confront it."

"What pain?"

"All of it."

"I can't."

"You can if you try."

"I've never been someone to feel sorry for myself. My problems are my own. Until recently."

"Because you've become emotionally overloaded."

"What do I do?"

"You were very close to your mother weren't you?"

Tears begin to well up in her eyes, she swallows hard, and then answers, "Yes."

"Tell me about that."

"I was never normal. I wasn't like kids my age. I had some friends, but they were different."

"You were extremely mature for your age."

"My mother loved me just the way I was. My friends they always found fault with me."

"She was your only true friend."

"I was smart, but I wasn't socially inclined."

"And when she left you?"

"I was lost. I didn't know what to do."

"And then your brother left you too."

"Russ was so protective of me, but then he just walked away."

"And you were put into foster care."

"Yes."

"And what happened there?"

"So many things I wish that I could forget."

"You bounced around a lot?"

"Yes."

"People treated you like dirt. They took advantage of you."

"Yes."

"Which is why you became an anthropologist."

"What do you mean?"

"You wanted to bring people who took advantage of the weak, the elderly, the young, the vulnerable, to justice. You wanted to make them pay. Some how, some way you wanted some one else to feel that pain. The pain you felt."

"Exactly."

"How many homes?"

"I don't remember."

"I've seen your records."

"What records?"

"Your juvenile records."

"I wasn't a criminal."

"No, I know. I'm talking about court transcripts, social worker reports, things of that nature."

"Oh?"

"Your canine and premolar teeth on the upper right side of your mouth are fake. One of the foster parents came home drunk one night. He tried to rape one of his other foster daughter's. You tried to stop him. He punched you. You were then removed from that home."

She stares at him silently, he continues. "At another foster home you didn't fold your laundry so your foster father beat the crap out of you. You were removed from that home as well."

She says nothing. She stares at his tie trying her hardest not to cry. "In your final foster home the father was convicted of raping a minor."

She nods.


	8. Chapter 8

"Of raping you?"

She says nothing she stares at her hands. "No, but I could have stopped it. I didn't do anything to stop it."

"You did what you could."

"It could have happened to me. He tried... that day he tried, but he didn't. I don't know how I stopped it, but the case worker found me I was unconscious, and he was standing over me."

"Then after being in a group home for a while you aged out. You went to college, and threw yourself into your studies. You graduated at the top of your class, and finished in record time."

"Uh huh."

"You were then offered a job at the Jeffersonian which you took. You met Angela."

"Yes."

"You continued to throw yourself into your work. The only vacation time you'd ever take was to go look at more bodies."

"Yes."

"And then you met Booth."

"And he was..."

"You began to question what you knew, what you believed at your core."

"Yes."

"And you begin to have a new routine. You began to see things in a different way."

"Yes."

"All the time keeping your emotions to yourself."

"Uh huh."

"And then Booth was shot."

"Yes."

"He was taken away from you."

"Yeah."

"You lost him, then you got him back."

"And then Zack..."

"Then Zack was gone."

"Uh huh."

"And in between then you were reunited with your father and brother. You identified the remains of your mother."

"Uh huh."

"You've had to go through all of that, and you've dealt with very little of it. You feel that there is some shame in discussing your emotions. You think they make you vulnerable. You've been vulnerable before, and you hate it. So finally you hit a wall."

"It was a tree."

"I meant figuratively."

"Right," she nods.

"And then you reached a point where you could bend no more. So instead of dealing with things you broke."

"I don't know how to deal with all of it."

"Let me ask you this, when you're at home, and you're in bed all alone, just before you fall asleep what do you think about yourself?"

"I don't know."

"You do know."

"That I'm never good enough."

"If you would look around you would see that you are. The people in your life accept you for who you are. You are good enough."

"So why are all of my relationships temporary?"

"Because you make them that way. You push everyone who close to you away."

"Not Booth."

"No, not Booth. You've tried to push him away, but you can't. You feel unworthy of his friendship, and his love."

"His love? Booth doesn't love me."

"He does. Trust me."

"How long have you thought that?"

"Ever since I met the two of you."

"But I'm not worthy of him. I got him shot, I let him down."

"So now you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. You have to fix this, but you have to want it. You have to want it for yourself."

"So what do I do? How do I fix it?"

"You talk about it. You talk with the people around you."

"I don't want to burden them."

"You've burdened them with worry by not talking to you. They all know that you function, only by necessity. Talk to the people around you, they'll listen."

"What if they don't want to hear what I have to say?"

"They'll still listen."

"Sweets I don't know if I can undo this. I..."

"You've dug yourself a very deep hole. You have a choice jump into it, or walk away from it."

"How?"

"Let it go. Let it all go."

"I did. I kept replaying everything in my mind and that's what got me here."

"No what got you here was a deep self-loathing. What got you here was not attempting to relieve your burden."

She stares at him.

"It won't be easy, but you can do it if you really want to."

"And what if I have a day where..."

"You tell someone. They'll listen, or they'll talk you through it. The people around you love you, they know you as much as you let them."

"How did you know all of that?"

"I told you I read your file."

She sits in her bed quietly looking at him skeptically.

"I can finally read you."

She nods with pain and sadness in her eyes.

"Is there anything that you'd like to talk about? With me or with anyone else?"

"He got a deal."

"Who?"

Her eyes borough into his. "The man that tried to rape me."

"Why?" he asks.

"I wouldn't testify."

"Why not?"

"I was young, and I was scared."

"And you didn't have anyone to talk to."

"I couldn't. I can't remember anything about that day."

"Did he rape you?"

"No."

"You're sure?" he asks not believing her entirely.

"I..." she looks at him. She takes a deep breath, "Yes."

"But?"

"It wasn't the first time that he had tried."

"What do you mean?"

"I was in the shower and I heard the door open. I saw him standing there. I asked him what he was doing and he didn't answer. He started to move toward me, but before he could get to me his wife walked in. She asked him what he was doing and he told her that he didn't know anyone was in the bathroom, because the door wasn't locked. Which was a lie, it was locked, but he had a key."

"She believed him?"

"I guess."

"Did you believe him?"

"No."


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: sorry I haven't updated in a while. It's not writer's block. I just have a lot of ideas. I write a lot of stories, more than I even publish. I tend to get sidetracked, a lot, so sometimes I don't finish my stories. If you bear with me over the next couple of weeks, I'll try to get a couple more chapters up. Thanks. R&R._

* * *

She stares at the wall, in her bedroom. She sits on the edge of the bed. Her door is cracked, and she listens to the footsteps coming towards her. She looks up, waiting for him to push the door open. He appears in the doorway. He stands there, staring at her. He shakes his head.

"Temperance," he says softly, "This really isn't a good idea."

"I am fine."

"You are far from fine."

"I want to be home. I don't want to go to rehab. I don't need to go to rehab."

"You have a problem."

"Don't you think that I know that?"

"You refuse to deal with it."

"Booth, you need to just let go."

"Let go? You're not a lost cause. I am not going to let go. I am not going to go anywhere."

"I just want to be alone."

"No."

"I am an adult, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"You are also perfectly capable of going to the nearest corner, and buying, from your dealer."

"I'm not going to do that," she swears.

"Forgive me, if I don't believe you."

"Why do you care? As long as I do my job. As long as I'm not hurting anyone, why does it matter?"

"You're hurting you."

"The last time I checked, there is no rule against that."

"You're hurting me. You are so consumed by this addiction, that you don't even see it. You can't even see the people that you're hurting. If you think that you're the only one you're hurting by doing this, you would be sadly mistaken. Everyone of us is hurt by this. We're hurt that you chose this path, over asking for help."

"You don't understand."

"You're right, I don't understand. I don't understand how you could chose an addiction over your friends, your job, and your life."

"I'm sorry, that I disappointed you. I am not the person that you think I am, though. I am not a good person. I am not someone worth being friends with."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true. Please, just leave. Leave me alone."

"Why? So you can wallow in your own misery? I don't think so."

"Booth, please."

"No. I'm not going to leave you."

"Why? Please!"

"Never."

She stares at him, in contempt. He stares back at her, with empathy. He moves towards her. He stops when he reaches her.

"Do you need help, in the shower?"

"No. I do not need help in the shower. I can shower myself."

"You don't have to do everything on your own. You do not have to face the world alone."

"Why won't you leave?"

"Because I know what will happen, if I do."

"Nothing is going to happen."

"Just so you know, you're not going to find anything in the bathroom."

"What are you talking about?"

"I went through everything. Cam made a sweep, too, after I was done."

"You went through my stuff?"

"You're a drug addict, you don't get the right to privacy."

"I'm sure that you didn't get all of it."

"I am sure that we did."

"How do you know?"

"After we were done, I borrowed a drug sniffing dog."

She gets off the bed, without another word. She makes her way into the bathroom. He sits on the edge of her bed, just listening. Through the closed door he can hear drawers being pulled out. Doors being banged. Things being tossed about. He hears footsteps. She rips open the door. She scowls at him.

"This is ridiculous. I want you to leave."

"I packed a bag, I'm staying."

"You can't keep me here."

"Says who?"

"Me."

"I'll handcuff you to the bed, if I have to."

"And eventually you will fall asleep."

"Mm, good point."

"So what is your plan, exactly?"

"My plan is for you to take a shower, and go to sleep."

"And what are you going to do? Watch me sleep, all night, long?"

"If I have to."

"Then who will watch me all day?"

"The schedule is on the fridge. It wouldn't be like this, if you had agreed to go to rehab. Since you want to stay here, one of us will be up your butt twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Get used to it."

"Until when?"

"Until the end of time, if need be."

She rolls her eyes, and returns to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later she comes out, in her pajamas. He remains seated, where she left him. She shakes her head, as she walks past him. She peels back her covers, and climbs into the bed.

"Are you going to sit there all night?"

"No," he shakes his head.

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"I am not going to sleep."

"You will fall asleep, eventually. You should just give up now."

"Temperance, I will lay on top of you, if that is what it takes, to keep you here."

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

"Whatever," she turns off the light.

She falls asleep, for a while. A few hours later, she wakes up, and finds him lying next to her, on top of the covers. She listens to him snore, for several minutes. She carefully begins to peel the covers back. Before she knows what is happening, he starts moving. He rolls on top of her, with his knees on either side of her.

"Going somewhere?"

"To pee," she lies.

"Nice try."

"Why are you doing this? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"I don't want you to kill yourself."

"Why do you care, so much? Why does it matter, to you?"

"Because I love you."

With that she settles back into the bed, under the covers.


	10. Chapter 10

She wakes up, handcuffed to the bed. She realizes that her bed is empty. She tries to get free of the handcuffs.

"Bones, stop it. I'll be out in a minute," Booth calls from the bathroom.

She waits, patiently, as he comes out of the bathroom. He takes a seat, next to her, on the bed. He smiles, and unfastens her cuffs.

"Cam will be here in a little while."

"Why?"

"To spend the day with you," he reveals.

"Why?"

"Someone has to stay with you."

"I do not need a babysitter."

"Yes, you do."

"I am a grown woman."

"You still need a babysitter."

"Booth?"

"What?" he rises from the bed.

"Did you mean what you said, last night?"

"About what?"

"You know."

"You're going to have to be more specific."

"When you said that you loved me, was that the truth, or just a tactic, to keep me from running away?"

"That is for me to know, and you to find out."

"I want to know!" she insists.

He buttons the top button of his shirt. He reaches for the tie draped around his neck. He attempts to ignore her. She pushes herself off the bed. She moves over to him. She stops when she reaches him.

"Answer me," she implores, with her eyes.

He slowly begins to tie his tie. She places her hand on his. His eyes move from the knot that he is trying to make, with his tie, to her eyes. He studies her face.

"Let me," she insists.

He nods subtly, and his hands fall to his sides. He allows her to tie his tie. When she finishes he expects for her to move away, but she doesn't.

"Booth?" she says softly.

"Hm?"

"Do you love me?"

"Now is not the time to have this conversation," he responds.

"Why not?"

"Temperance," he warns, "please."

She doesn't back away, instead she moves closer. Her fingers find their way to his neck. She gently moves his ear closer to her.

"I have nothing left to lose," she reminds him, with a whisper.

He doesn't say another word. He stands frozen, in her bedroom, in an awkward situation, unsure of what to do. Before he can react her lips are on his. He doesn't pull away. He allows for things to transpire, however they will. Finally she steps back.

"You do," she concludes.

"Do I?"

"Booth, now is not the time to play mind games with me."

"I'm sorry. Temperance, I just... I have too much to lose."

"What does that mean?"

"I stopped gambling, a long time ago," he reminds her.

"I'm not worth it?"

"Under other circumstances I might say that you are, but... not now."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I have a son. I have a career. I just can't risk what I have."

"Not on me," she adds.

"I want to," he reveals."Then why won't you? Why won't you say it?"

"You need to get yourself together, before we'll ever have a chance."

"Love is not conditional," she reminds him.

"I love you," the words tumble from his lips, "I always have. I probably always will. That doesn't mean that I am ever going to be with you. I don't know if I can. We both have a lot of things that we need to work on, before that can happen."

"I want you to love me now."

"I want to love someone who loves me back. I want to loves me, more than they love getting high."

"I do."

"Right now, you're an addict. You will always be. In this moment, you would tell me anything, to get what you want. You think that if you can convince me that you love me, that I'll trust you. Maybe you do, love me, but I can't trust you."

"I do."

"You do what?"

"Love you," she answers.

"Don't go there," he begs.

"Go where?"

"Down that road."

"I love you, and you refuse to love me back. I just..."

"Don't turn this into something that it's not."

"Don't go," she begs, hearing the front door opening.

"I have to," he walks away from her.

She waits until he's out of the room. She sinks to the ground. Her back leans against the foot of her bed. She draws her knees to her chest. She buries her face, in her knees.

He meets Cam, in the living room. She takes off her coat, and drops her bag. He heads for the door.

"Thanks for doing this, for me," he smiles.

"I'm not doing this for you."

"Then who are you doing this for? Temperance? The two of you don't have the best track record."

"I'm doing it for me. What can I say? I'm selfish. She's the best damn anthropologist I've ever seen. I need her. I need to keep her clean. I wish someone else could take her place, but..."

He finishes the sentence for her, "That's one thing I have to say, about her; she's irreplaceable. I just wish that she would realize that. I wish she could see how much, she means to all of us."

"How is she?"

"She was fine, ten seconds ago."

"You should go," Cam looks at her watch.

He nods, and heads out the door. Cam makes he way down the hallway, she stops in the doorway. She finds Temperance, on the floor, with her knees to her chest.

"Are you ok?"

"No," Temperance replies.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not right now."

"I'll just go in the other room, then," she offers.

"No," she shakes her head, "Don't leave me."

"You don't want to be alone?" Cam guesses.


	11. Chapter 11

Temperance looks at her, with a tear stained face. She shakes her head. "No, I don't want Booth to have to kill you."

"Kill me," Cam raises an eyebrow, "for what?"

"Leaving me unattended."

"Why would he kill me for that?"

"Because if you walk out the door, and leave me unattended, I will probably just crawl out the window."

"You are kidding, right? You have no money. The fire escape is twelve feet from the ground. It's broken. You're broken. It would be incredibly painful, not to mention, stupid."

"I know that, but it doesn't make a difference."

"How did this happen? I just don't understand. What makes you think that it's ok to throw your life away?"

"I'm tired. I am tired of fighting, so hard, just to be ok. I am sick of trying so damn hard, to be the best. I just want things to be easy, just once, in my life."

"Life isn't easy, but you can't turn to drugs. It doesn't fix anything?"

"Don't you think I know that?"

Cam nods, "You do."

"I'm not that different from you, you know."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You don't think that I recognize an addict, when I see one?"

Cam looks at her feet. Her shoes stare back. "Are you talking about my footwear?" she probes.

"No," Temperance shakes her head.

"I know that I am addicted to shopping."

"That isn't what I'm talking about," Temperance reveals.

"Oh," Cam's heart drops into her stomach, "What are you talking about?"

"You judge me, for the mistakes I've made, but I'm not the only one. I am not the only one good at hiding things either."

"Dr. Brennan, what are you talking about?"

"You drink too much."

"I don't," Cam tries to defend herself.

"Really?"

"You are in no position to point out my flaws."

"Who else is going to?"

"I do not have a drinking problem," Cam argues.

"Yes, you do."

"I cannot believe that I am arguing about this, with you."

"Why not?"

"I don't have a drinking problem."

"How much do you drink?"

"A glass of wine."

"A glass?" Temperance raises an eyebrow.

"Or two," Cam admits.

"Really? That's all? If you can't be honest with yourself, you can't be honest with anyone."

"How would you know?"

"I may not understand a lot of things about people. I may not notice a lot of things, but I know an alcoholic, when I see one."

"I'm not an alcoholic."

"Really? How many bottles of wine do you go through, in a week?"

"That is none of your business."

"Humor me."

Cam folds her arms across her chest.

"A couple."

"A couple? Be honest," Temperance implores.

"Several," Cam admits.

"A bottle, every night."

"I work hard. I think that when I get home, I am entitled to unwind. It doesn't affect my work, and it doesn't affect my life."

"Now who do you sound like?" Temperance poses the question.

Cam furrows her brow, "I hope to Hell that you are not comparing me, to you."

"I am."

"I am nothing like you."

"My addiction did not affect my work. No one knew. I have never done anything at work. I keep that all in the privacy, of my own home."

Cam stares at her, blankly. She walks towards the bed. She slips off her heels. She slides onto the floor, next to Temperance. She allows her legs to stretch out, in front of her. She crosses them, at the ankle. She looks at Temperance.

"No one has ever had the audacity to call me out, about it, before," she admits.

"I know that you don't always like me. I know that we rarely get along. Our personalities, are not very complimentary. We are learning how to work together, I guess. But, like it, or not, I am your friend."

"Why are you bringing all of this up?"

"Because I am not the only one who needs help, am I?"

"I..." her voice cracks.

"I am not the only one, who let things get out of control. I started out, with a drink after work. Then it was a couple drinks. Then it was a bottle, or two. Eventually, even that wasn't enough, I needed something else, something stronger. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"

"I would never do what you did."

"You can say that, but you don't know that it's true. I know that you will never admit it, but you and I, are a lot alike."

"No, we're not."

"Neither one of us likes to admit when we've gotten in, over our heads. Neither of us wants to ask for help, even when we need it. Both of hate to ever admit that we're wrong, about anything."

"Ok, maybe a little bit," Cam concedes.

"I am going to get dressed."

"Are you going somewhere?"

"_We_, are going somewhere."

"Where are _we_, going?"

"To church."

"Church? You do not believe in church, or God."

"I never said that I did."

"Then why are we going to church?"

"We're going to a meeting."

"We are?"

"Yes," Temperance nods.

"I'll take you," Cam agrees.

"You're going with me. I am not doing this alone. You are going to participate."

"But, I don't have a problem."

"Then neither do I," Temperance counters.

Cam watches as Temperance gathers clothes, and heads into the bathroom. She pokes her head out, before going to close the door. Cam sits on the end of her bed.

"Would you like me to leave the door open, so you're sure I'm not going to escape?"

"There isn't a window in your bathroom."

"Is that a no?"

"Yes, that is a no," Cam confirms.

Temperance shuts the door, and turns the shower on. Cam stares at the door, for a long time.

"I'll go with you," Cam shouts.

"What?" Temperance hollers from inside the bathroom.

"I said," she speaks louder, "I'll got with you."

"Good. I heard you the first time. I just wanted to make sure that you did too."


	12. Chapter 12

She sits behind the coffee table, in an office. Her leg jiggles rapidly, as she sits on the couch. She stares at the man on the other side of the coffee table. He stares back at her, harshly. He holds a pen, and a note pad. He clears his throat.

"Can you answer the question please?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Dr. Brennan, no is not an option."

"I don't want to answer that question. It is completely unfair. It makes me use suppositions, and predict completely unpredictable variables, and behaviors. I cannot answer that question."

"You will answer the question. What do you think your loved ones, the people who care about you would feel, if you had died?"

"Sweets, that question isn't fair, and you know it."

"Answer the question."

"I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Because then you would have to explore the impact that your decisions have on the people around you."

"Sweets..."

"Start with Dr. Saroyan," he coaxes.

"She would probably be irritated, because she would have to find a replacement for me."

"Dr. Brennan, I have something that I want you to watch," he tells her. Lance grabs a remote and turns the tv on. The DVD player begins. He selects a clip, and presses play.

Doctor Brennan watches closely. The camera is focused on Camille Saroyan. She sits in Dr. Sweets office, where Temperance now sits.

_"Tell me what you were thinking, when you thought that Doctor Brennan might die," Lance says from behind the camera, out of the frame._

_Cam looks downward. She takes a deep breath, and starts slowly._

_"I was angry."_

_"Angry, why?"_

_"Because she didn't ask any of us for help."_

_"And?"_

_"And I guess that if she had died, I would have blamed myself a little."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I didn't see the signs. I didn't help her."_

_"Why do you want to take that blame?"_

_"I was cop. I should have seen the signs."_

_"Booth is a cop."_

_"He should have seen it too. Everyone should have seen it."_

_"She was very talented at hiding it."_

_"It doesn't matter."_

_"What were you feeling, aside from anger?"_

_Cam pauses, she inhales deeply, clearly trying not to cry, "Sad. I never told her what an incredible anthropologist she was."_

_"And?"_

_"And, that I'm sorry, I didn't try harder, to be her friend."_

The clip ends. Temperance stares at the screen. She avoids eye contact, with Sweets.

"Shall I continue to ask you about each person in your life?"

"No," she shakes her head, "Please don't make me watch anymore. I don't want to see this."

"You have to see this. To take responsibility for your actions, you have to see this. If you want to move on, you have no choice."

"But I don't know that I want to move on."

"I know that you do. Let's go to the next clip."

"Who is it?"

"Dr. Hodgins," he answers.

_The camera now focuses on Jack Hodgins. Lance from behind the camera asks,_

_"What was going through your head, when you thought that Doctor Brennan might die?"_

_"I wish that she had reached out to me. I wish that I could have stopped her, from doing what she did. I don't like to think about losing her. It's like losing the cornerstone of a team, that makes up a family. You can keep living each day, but you're never the same. You're never a whole, again."_

The clip ends, and Dr. Sweets moves on to the next one.

_Angela stares at the camera. Doctor Sweets clearly behind the camera, out of the frame, again. This time, he asks a different question._

_"Angela, if you could go back and say one thing to Doctor Brennan, that may have changed things, what would it be?"_

_She swallows hard, "I would tell her that I love her. She's my best friend, like the sister that I never had. I would be lost without her. No matter what, I'm always here for her. I'm good at talking, but I'm good at listening too. I just wish she had asked for help."_

_"I know."_

_Angela begins to cry, "I hate to think about what could have happened, what could still happen. It scares me. She's the glue that keeps us all together."_

Temperance shudders, when Lance chooses the next clip, that is entitled _'Booth'_. Lance hits play, and Temperance braces herself.

_Lance sits behind the camera, out of the frame. The camera focuses on Booth who sits on the couch, in Sweets office. He loosens his tie. He stares at the camera, nervously._

_"You thought that you were going to lose her, that had to be scary," Lance begins._

_"You have no idea. I..."_

_"It's ok," Lance reassures him._

_"I don't think that I could keep going, if she was gone. I wouldn't want to. I couldn't."_

_"Why? The truth?"_

_"I love her. I can't bear to think about what losing her would mean, for me, for all of us. We'd all be lost without her. I blame myself, I should have seen that something wasn't right. I should have insisted that she talked to me. I should have been able to change things."_

_"You can't always be the hero."_

_"But I want to be."_

_"You can't always save her."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Sometimes she won't want to be saved."_

_"And then what do I do?"_

_"Let her go."_

_"And let her kill herself?"_

_"If she loves you back, she'll always come back."_

_"Not if she's high, and does something stupid that takes her life."_

_"You're angry at her?"_

_"Damn right."_

Temperance doesn't say a word, when the clip ends. Lance just clicks onto the next clip.

_This time Lance is in front of the camera, sitting in his chair. He stares into the camera._

_"I know I can't change the way things happened. I just wish that I had been able to crack through her exterior, so I could have helped her sooner. I wish that I could have earned her trust, enough, to change the way things happened. Our team, would cease to exist, without her. None of us would be able to do it, without her. We could hire a new anthropologist, but she's the one who keeps us together."_


End file.
